Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Dear God,



(click on the picture to read)



Sunday, July 15, 2007

I like this quote:


"
Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."

-Finley Peter Dunne



Such is the job of a social worker....



Friday, July 13, 2007

I'm reflective when I'm sick.....apparently

I'm feeling profound right now but I don't actually have anything profound to say.

I've been thinking today, which usually gets me into trouble. As "certain people" used to say: "Rachel, you live in your head, and it is way too analytical in there. You need to live out here with the rest of us and just be happy." And while I don't pay much heed (anymore) to what "certain people" used to say about me, this is one thing they may have been right about.

One thing that has always bothered me about myself is that I tend to always be thinking about the future...where I'll be, what I'll be doing, etc. I wish I could just focus on the here and now, and be happy with what I have and where I am at this moment. As the saying goes, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." I have a pretty good little life. I wish I could sit back and enjoy it instead of constantly thinking about what comes next. Perhaps this shall be a new goal of mine. Live in the moment. Cliche sure, but also maybe a pretty good philosophy. Who knows where I'll be in 5 years, or even 2 for that matter. Two years ago I never would have thought I'd be where I am right now. So why spend so much time trying to plot out the future, when the beauty of the future is that it is unknown?

So slow down, Rachel.
Take your time.
Enjoy your friends; indulge in the experience of being in love; listen to those around you and learn from them; don't worry about the future...

If the past year has taught me anything it's that things work out in the end, although not always how you thought. So go with the flow and enjoy the ride.


Disclaimer: I currently have massive amounts of Nyquil and Ibuprofin in my bloodstream. Therefore the above is pretty much an accumulation of my drug-induced, incoherent thoughts.
Any lucid or intelligent comments are purely accidental.

Perhaps I should have put the disclaimer first.



Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Jackass-in-law

So I just got off the phone with my sister and now I have to vent...

Why would someone stay married to a man who makes them miserable, who constantly puts them down, who disrespects them, who abuses them, who makes them cry every single fucking day???

Why would someone stay married to a man who
forces them to give up a child they really wanted to keep???

Why would someone stay married to a man who calls them useless and then tries to rape them???

How little self-esteem must you have to stay with this man???



Monday, July 9, 2007

Skinny-mini no more

I need to get in shape.

I've always been the skinny girl who could eat anything and everything and stay 95 pounds. But now I'm starting to put on some weight in my tummy area and I'm getting a bit self-conscious about it. I've never had to worry about eating junk food before, in fact junk food makes up most of my daily diet and always has. It's never been a problem before. But I guess I'm not a teenager anymore.

But it's not even the weight that really bothers me. It's how out of shape I am. I can barely go up a flight of stairs without breathing hard when I get to the top. When I was dancing in high school, I would do 200 sit ups 3 times a week with hardly any problem. Now I doubt I could do 20.

When the weather got nice earlier this year, I swore I was going to go walking every weekend and even some weeknights after work. But I'm always so tired and unmotivated on the weekends, it never gets done.

And my diet is horrendous. I eat some sort of fast food every day, sometimes twice a day. But what can I do? It's cheap and fast and I can go through the drive thru between home visits without having to take too much time.....

.....
and I'm gonna die of a heart attack by the time I'm 30.

The sad fact is,
I don't know how to diet or exercise. I never had to before. And people laugh at me or roll their eyes when I bring up my "weight problem." But I just want to keep it from becoming a problem. And I want to stop my arteries from getting completely blocked from the McGrossness I eat every day.

So...if anyone has any advice on how to live a busy (and poor!) life but still stay somewhat healthy...
please give me some helpful tips.

I would like to live a little bit past 30.


Monday, July 2, 2007

Oh how I've grown...

Today was a good day. I actually got a lot done at work, although I still feel kinda behind. Oh well, I'll catch up eventually.

So on my way to a home visit, I heard this song that about a year ago had the power to make me fall on the floor in tears. I associated it with a person who I cared deeply about, and who cut me out of his life like I was nothing. Anyway, I haven't heard this song in a while, and so I listened to it all the way through...and
I felt nothing. It was the most liberating experience I've had in a while, to know that I am finally f r e e. He has no power over me anymore. And it's just a song again.