My new babies, Bella and Sera:

The sad truth is

I'm wasting my life.

Ain't no reason

Prison walls still standing tall
Some things never change at all
Keep on building prisons, gonna fill them all
Keep building bombs, gonna drop them all
Working young fingers to the bone
Breaking your back, make you sell your soul
Like a lung its filled with cold, suffocating slow
The wind blows wild and I may move
The politicians lie and I am not fooled
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit
To argue the truth
The air on my skin and the world under my toes
Slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes
Chaos and commotion wherever I go
Love I try to follow...

Love will come set me free.

- Brett Dennen <3



More to come, eventually. But I love this song.

So you know I'm alive...

I want to update but I seem to continually be in a bad mood. I will try to post soon, once my mood improves. FYI- life has been okay lately, I just always seem to be cranky. I think it's my new meds. Peace.

This week will be better.

This week will be better.
This week will be better.
This week will be better.
This week will be better.
This week will be better.
This week will be better.
This week will be better.


This week will be better...I hope!

Burnout: it's the next big thing!

Is it bad that I come home from work every day and cry?

Today I told my boss that when my probation is up next month, I need to take a few days off to get my head together. She said she thought that was a fantastic idea. So apparently it's not just me who thinks I'm going crazy.

There is just so much (too much) weighing on me right now.



PS: Kristy, I love you, your family is in my prayers.
Faith, I love you, and I'm here for you always.


Sometimes life's not fair.

Sometimes a meltdown is just what you need

Last week was rough at work. Probably my worst week at CMS so far. I just felt frustrated every day and ended the week with about 4 clients mad at me. I know that it's part of the job and I shouldn't take it personally, but I can't help it, I'm a very sensitive person.

All week the pressure kept building up but I just kept pushing it down. On Friday (which as I posted earlier was the anniversary of my uncle's death) I was very emotional and stressed out. After I came home Friday night, everything kind of came to a head and I lost it. I mean, complete meltdown.

Luckily, I have an awesome boyfriend who just held me and let me cry. I cried in a way I haven't in months. The can't catch my breath, out of control, heaving sobs kind of way. And I felt so much better afterwards. It was so liberating to finally let go of all that stuff I was holding inside.

Hopefully this week will be better. I'm trying to go into it with a good attitude, and I'm determined to be productive and energetic. We'll see.

When does it stop hurting?

One year ago today the world lost an amazing man and I lost my beloved uncle...


Rest in peace James Harold Pitts Jr.


I still miss you everyday

Ian-credible

I don't really feel like updating but I'm bored and have nothing else to do, so....

Ryan and I went to LI this weekend. My sister's house is cool, and it was good to see the kitties. However, as I've stated before, I'm not really a fan of my brother-in-law so that kinda sucked. He and my sister fought pretty much the entire time, making it rather uncomfortable for Ryan and myself. I have been through this many many many times before, but poor Ryan didn't know what he was getting himself into. I'll have to try to avoid putting him into situations like that in the future.

But anyway, we went to a Yankee game on Saturday which was awesome. The weather was perfect, sunny but not too hot. They won, and A-Rod hit a homerun, and some rookie pitched his first major league game and did a kick-ass job, and Mo came in to close it. Pretty much the perfect game for me, only thing that could have made it better is if Joba had pitched.

After the game we went to Central Park and walked around for a bit. My sister and bother-in-law were fighting so bad by that time that they decided to go home and leave me and Ryan to explore the city ourselves, which was FINE by us.

Ryan and I had fun I guess...if you call going in circles on the subway fun :P

I gave him a tour of Huntington on Sunday which bored him out of his mind, but was fun for me to see my old hang-outs. (Thank you for indulging me baby)

Monday we had lunch with Lauren and then came back to Albany. All in all not a bad trip, it was good to get away for a few days. Now that I'm back, I'm trying to buckle down at work and get myself caught up in time for my evaluation next month. I've also decided that I want to lose 10 pounds by October, so wish me luck on that.

That's all for now, although I feel like I'm forgetting something really important. Oh well. Peace.