Screw work.

I have spent the past 3 days in my bed watching old episodes of The Office on Ryan's computer. And I've decided that's all I really want out of life.

Wahoo 4 day break!

This week started out disastrously. Since then it has gotten quite a bit better. Thank God.

PS. Happy Thanksgiving.

Why do I screw everything up?

So i fucked up pretty bad and now I'm paying for it. It's been a really really sucky week, and basically I'm overwhelmed right now with feelings of guilt, anger, depression, and humiliation. What's worse is that I have disappointed people who have been very good to me, and now I'm not sure if we can ever go back to the way things were.

Tomorrow I start back with therapy, almost exactly a year to the day after I stopped going. Hopefully it will help and I can get back on track.

I'm just so tired of everything.

I've been avoiding this for a while...

So today I had a meeting with my supervisor and my program director. Basically I just sat there crying hysterically while they discussed whether or not I am capable of doing my job. I'm not really sure what decisions we came to, but I'm pretty sure they now think I'm completely psychotic. If you ever want to make your superiors really uncomfortable, I suggest sobbing uncontrollably in front of them. So yeah, I don't know where we go from here, but I'm sure there will be more "discussions" next week.

In other news, my grandpa has been in the hospital for the past week because part of his heart had stopped functioning. He had triple bypass surgery on Wednesday and is doing really well. The doctors say he's the strongest 81 year old they've seen. I'm so glad he's doing better, my grandpa is the coolest guy ever.

Needless to say, this week has sucked. Luckily tomorrow I am meeting Kristy in Newburgh. See, it's halfway between Albany and Scranton, just an hour and a half drive for each of us. So we agreed to meet there and spend the day together. I am super excited.

For right now though, I'm going to curl up in a ball with my kitties and hide from the world. Things have to get better eventually right?