"Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?"

Good babies gone bad.

It's a sad story, one we hear all too often. Sweet, adorable babies who for one reason or another, turn to a life of questionable morals and seedy activity. The ones who sneak whiskey in with their formula, who make a play for all the chicks in the sandbox, who stay up all night partying only to drag themselves to bed, er I mean crib, in the wee hours of the morning. And I regret to say that despite my shining influence, two of my beloved baby boys- Dumpling and MiniCooper- have gone over to the dark side. I only hope it's not too late for them.

Dumpling has turned to a life of rock n roll, which can only mean groupies, trashing hotel rooms, and trading his favorite toy, Duckie, for coke.


Poor little MiniCooper just can't stop hitting the bottle. We're considering an intervention. You can't solve your problems with booze MC!

<33333

I have a bad case of neeblia madeeblia.

So the other day Choo-Choo was showing me the books he got at the library, and he says, "This one is called Good Driving Neeblia Madeeblia."

I was a little confused by this title so I looked at the book, which is actually entitled Good Driving, Amelia Bedelia.

I choked back my giggles and corrected him, "I think it's Am-el-ia Be-del-ia, sweetie."

"Yeah I know, Neeblia Madeeblia."

=)

Mommy's Day

My new hair:

I'm still getting used to it, but it's kinda fun. PS- don't mind the horrible picture, I had just spent 8 hours watching the boys on very little sleep and I took this pic while sitting in a Friendly's. So yeah.

Este hombre es el amor de mi vida

Ryan and I had just been discussing how I want my next car to be a Chevy Cobalt. We pull into the mall parking lot and I say, "Look, we're parking next to a Cobalt."

Ryan looks at me like I'm crazy and goes, "What??!"

So I repeat myself. To which Ryan says, "Ohhh, I thought you said look at the pregnant Mexican couple."

There is a reason this man and I are together. <3

Sick Day, Guilt Day

I did not go to work today because I am a horrible horrible human being. Also, I'm sick, but mostly the first thing. Why do I always feel so guilty for taking a day off when I legitimately feel like shit? I woke up this morning and couldn't breathe, talk, or stand up, so obviously caring for 2 kids would have been highly difficult. Yet I have been laying in bed all day wracked with guilt over my decision to stay home. Gahhh I hate being me sometimes.

Dear Elle,

There is so much I wish I could say to you, but for many many reasons, I can't. So instead I will write you a letter via my blog, which you will never read. Probably for the best.

Okay, so basically, I don't like you very much. I love you, and I always will, but beyond that I find you very selfish, deluded, and self-righteous. Strong criticism I know, but after listening to you whine week after week about your "problems" like you are the only person in the world who matters, I can't help but feel these things about you. And yes, I realize that I am also very selfish, and that I whine about my problems like there's no tomorrow, but the difference is that I acknowledge these personal weaknesses, whereas you boast about how "healthy and well-adjusted" you have become. Yeah f-ing right. You are in denial. And you are nuts. Seriously.

Anyway, the thing is, when we were young and I imagined the women that we would become, I certainly never pictured either of us where we are now. And while I have made peace with who I am (or am in the process of doing so), when I look at you I can't help but feel disappointed. You settled for less than you deserved, and then you lowered yourself to its level. The fact is, I don't like who you've become.

Oh and here's another thing: when we talk on the phone and you are being particularly ridiculous, I put it on speaker and Ryan and I laugh/roll our eyes/mime shooting ourselves in the head as we listen. Immature, yes. But that's what you have driven me to.

There is so much more I want to say, so many more feelings that I have about you, your life, and our relationship, but I will save it for my therapy sessions.

I do love you, and I hope that someday you will become the woman I pictured you to be when we were kids. I wish you well and I will talk to you soon, as always, pretending that none of what I have written here is true.

Love,
Are