To you:

I was talking to a friend today who mentioned that she is graduating in May. I suddenly realized that you and her are the same year, which means that if all has gone as planned, you will be graduating as well. And then my heart sank, because I don't know if you will be staying here after you're done with school. It's so ridiculous, you aren't even part of my life anymore, and yet the thought of you not being in the same city as me makes my inexplicably sad.

I have spent the past year and half praying that I don't run into you, actively planning my schedule to avoid places you might be, involuntarily shaking whenever I see someone who looked like you. And yet, perhaps part of me was hoping to turn a corner and see your face. To have a split second connection with you again, before pretending not to see each other and going our separate ways.

Despite all the hurt, anger, tears, name-calling, and general unpleasantness, I am not ashamed to say that I miss you. Well to be exact, I miss the person you were when we met, not when we parted ways. And I wish you well.