A few things...nanny edition:

1) I spend way too much time trying to clean poop out of carpets.

2) Today while I was in the other room putting Dumpling down for a nap, I hear Choo-Choo say angrily to the tv, "No, Diego! You CANNOT tell me what to do!" You tell him Choo-Choo.

3) Choo-Choo's parents are taking him to see Backyardigans LIVE tonight. Not gonna lie, I'm a little jealous. Of all the kiddie shows I am forced to watch, Backyardigans is definitely one of my favorites.

4) I'm trying to teach Dumpling to blow kisses. So far all I've gotten him to do is put his hand in his mouth. It's a start.

5) Yesterday Choo-Choo asked me (hypothetically, I hope) what would happen if a mommy and daddy put their baby in a garbage can. Ummm...no more Law and Order reruns for Choo-Choo.

My mornings...for real. Bella actually slaps me in the face and everything.

Pork Chop.

Not really much to say. I'm still pretty blah but I'll get through it. My unemployment got cut off because they say I left my job willingly. I don't really define "willingly" as being told not to come back because I have been admitted to a mental hospital, but whatever. I know I should fight it, but I don't think I have it in me. And while I know that this will bring about a different kind of fight, I'm too tired to worry about it right now.

Luckily a huge part of our financial strain will be lifted in a few months when we move in with Ryan's parents. Not exactly an ideal situation, but it means no rent, free cable, free internet, and free food. So obviously I can't complain.

On another note, I start therapy tomorrow (FINALLY). I haven't been in therapy since 4Winds, due to lovely Medicaid issues, so I'm really in need. I'm hoping it will help with my yucky mood.

Yep that's about it. Peas and luff.

Surprising...

that I'm quoting the Bible, considering I'm not all that religious, but I like this. It's comforting right now.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Update:

I'm tired, I'm perpetually cranky, and I'm getting sick.

More when I'm in a better mood.

Week in photos

I'm feeling relatively better than earlier in the week. It's gorgeous out, it's Friday, and I'm about to spend the weekend traveling the tri-state area to see various friends. What could be better?

Anyway, excitement for the day included giving Dumpling his bottle and then looking down at him to see blood gushing from his eye. After a significant amount of FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT, I cleaned up his eye and was very relieved to find it was only a small cut on his eyelid. No clue how he got it, but at least it wasn't as bad as it looked at first.

So here are some pics taken this week that pretty much sum up my pathetic life.

Sera getting cuddles from Daddy

I saw this puppy at the pet store and I wanted to steal him! But alas, Ryan wouldn't let me.


Camo Baby can't hide from Wonder-Nanny!

There's something clogging my sink...

Happy weekend. Enjoy the beautiful weather.

Melancholy Molly

I've been somewhat depressed the past few days, for no apparent reason. That's what I hate the most, feeling miserable and having no clue why. But anyway, it's been a struggle staying involved in my own life, especially when it comes to work. It's just really hard to care for two small children when all I want to do is curl up in a ball under my blanket and hide from the world. Actually as it turns out, I have had two days off this week because the baby is sick. I'm happy to have some time off, especially since I'm in a bit of a funk, but of course I'm sorry my little Dumpling is sick (and it's unfortunately gonna mean a sucky payday this week). But, I will take the reprieve and try to snap myself out of this dysphoria.

Love and hugs greatly appreciated.

"Friends just keep you away from TV."

If you're ever wondering what Ryan and I are like as a couple, just watch The King of Queens. We are pretty much exactly like Doug and Carrie, except I'm less bitchy (slightly) and Ryan's less dumb (slightly :P). We fight a lot, but we love each other more. We're lazy and generally dislike all other people. And we're just trying to get by and make ends meet, while also trying not to kill one another. Ah, life.

I'm in love.

Come on, how cute is he? Just look at that face! I have the most adorable nephew ever <3

Damn disney still has its claws in me.

So the other day I bought a cute Tink bag at Target because, well, I have a weakness for Tink. Then today I decided I couldn't put off getting sunglasses anymore, as I get blinded by the sun every day when I drive home from work. Now, I hate buying sunglasses, because I have a very small face and therefore all sunglasses look ridiculous on me, like I'm playing dress up with my mommy's glasses. So, after trying on several pairs of adult sunglasses and finding nothing small enough, I decided to check out the kids' ones. And, surprise surprise, they fit! However, apparently it is impossible for kids' glasses to be simple and plain. Instead, they are all kinds of bright colors with different characters. I did however find a pair of purpley-pink glasses that totally brought out the 8 year old girl in me. So naturally I had to get them. They are actually Pirates of the Caribbean, and they say "I <3 Jack" on the sides. I thought they were stickers that could be removed, but unfortunately they are actually printed on the frames. Oh well, it's pretty small, and I do <3 Johnny Depp so...I guess it works.

Sooo, somehow even though I quit Disney almost a year ago, I still manage to deck myself out in all kinds of Disney crap. Ah well, I'm a kid at heart.

Smexxy =P

Ummm...cutest thing ever???

(taken from my favoritest website icanhascheezburger.com...go there, you will not regret it)

Conversations with a 4 year old:

Choo-choo: you should go to the doctor so your back will stop hurting.
Me: yes I should, but doctors cost a lot of money and I don't have a lot of money.
Choo-choo: can't your mommy take you to the doctor?
Me: no, my mommy lives far away.
Choo-choo: what do you mean?
Me: well, I live in this city, and my mommy and daddy live far away in a different city.
Choo-choo: you mean...you don't live with your mommy and daddy?
Me: that's right.
Choo-choo: but...why? where did they go? how can you not live with them?
Me: well, I grew up and went away to college and then I stayed here after I finished college.
Choo-choo: so wait...you really don't live with your mommy and daddy?
Me: no I don't.
Choo-choo: so then...who do you live with?
Me: you remember my boyfriend? I live with him.
Choo-choo: oh...and your kitties?
Me: yes, and my kitties.
Choo-choo: oh ok, so you guys are like a little family.



Yes, we are :)

My name is Rachel and I have an addiction...

to m&ms. Seriously, though.

In other news, ever since I woke up this morning, all of my joints have been very sore and swollen. I can't get my rings off my fingers, I can't bend my toes, and my entire body HURTS. My mother has suffered with these symptoms for the past 20 years due to her fybromyalgia, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis. So chances are, being her child, I have developed one of these diseases as well. It was only a matter of time. I'm going to try and go to the doctor sometime next week if this doesn't clear up. Maybe I'll be lucky and it will just be Lyme disease.

A couple things:

1) Last night, Ryan borrowed my car to run to the store, as he often does. This morning, after a night of nonstop rain, I went to leave for work and found that he had left my sunroof open. Needless to say I was not very happy, and I sent him a strongly worded (and slightly profane) text message letting him know so. By the time I got to work the back of my jeans and sweatshirt were soaked, I was beyond freezing, and very very cranky. Is there anything worse than wet jeans? It took me about 3 hours to completely dry out, however during that time most of my anger subsided and I was able to see the humor of the situation. Well, almost. I am now looking forward to holding this incident over Ryan's head for a long long time. =P

2) Every time I talk to my mom she asks me when I think I will be able to "go back to work." Ummmmm.... Is what I'm doing now not work? Does she think I'm just wiping shit-soaked asses and force feeding 4 year olds for fun? Cuz I was under the impression that I was working my ass off taking care of an infant and a pre-schooler in an attempt to pay my rent and my bills. Silly me, apparently it's just a hobby. It drives me NUTS that she a) does not see nannying as a real job, b) will only be happy if I'm "using my degree" as a social worker, and c) is pressuring me to go back into a field that I am very much not ready to go back to. It was not that long ago that I was in a freaking psychiatric hospital due to the stress and anguish that my social work job gave me. I am still trying to put the pieces of my life back together, and I am in no way ready to put myself back into that position. And I'm sorry if I think that my mother, who has battled depression herself for many years, should understand and accept that. ::Lets out an exasperated sigh:: Okay....rant over.